Monday, December 29, 2008

Gently Leading those with Young

I try to pick out a new verse every year as a compass and truth to carry with me throughout the year. This verse actually started speaking to me in the spring of last year, and I forgot about it for a while, and it recently came back to me.

Isaiah 40:11 "He will tend His flock like a shepherd;
He will gather the lambs in His arms;
He will carry them in His bosom,
and gently lead those that are with young."
This verse speaks such hope to my heart. I am a mother of two, and hopefully someday more. I love being a mom and I love my children. But this stage of life can be hard. I spend about 90% of my time (if not more) at home, I never really "punch out" - I'm always on call, one of the things i look forward to in life is getting the mail (!), and my job description includes cleaning up bodily fluids of small people .... it isn't glamorous, but it is a blessing. I'm thankful for it, but it is hard.
I need encouragement EVERYDAY! Maybe that seems like a lot, but it's easy to get burnt out. I'm thankful for my friends and family that I call in my moments of despair that lift me up, pray for me and get me back on my feet. But this verse reminds me that there is one who is gently leading me everyday, every moment; and He is gentle with me.

The comfort those words bring.... He isn't harsh with me when I fail or screw up, He isn't angry, He is gentle, He is loving, as a shepherd should be. And what's more than that? I'm not on my own! Somedays I feel very lonely, I feel like I am in a crazy maze and I have NO clue which way to go. The good news is, I don't need to know - only He does. He leads me and guides me through whatever comes my way. I don't always understand His ways, but I don't need to, I am the sheep, He is the Shepherd, I will follow Him.
"He will carry them in His bosom"
When I fall, when I can't go on, He will pick me up and carry me in His arms.
As I am typing this tears are streaming down my face, I can't tell you how this ministers to my heart. I grow weary, I get tired, I feel like I don't have what it takes. I want to be a good mom, I want to be a good wife, I want to be a good person..... but some days I don't have it in me, but instead of giving up, I can lean upon this truth and know that the Lord - the Creator of the Universe - is carrying me in His arms when I can't take the next step on my own.

Lord, thank you for this verse, thank you for the promise that you are leading me and that you are with me. There are times when I feel uncertain and I doubt, when I can't see you in the storm. Thank You for still being there when I can't feel You. Thank You that when I can't go on, You are carrying me. When I don't know which way to turn, You are there to lead me. You are good - and You are gentle with me - thank You.
I pray that I will hide this verse in my heart and that You will use it to light my path when I need it. Fill my head and heart with the promises it contains and I pray that you will use it to encourage me and that I may encourage others with it as well.


Anonymous said...

This is Tim (Amber's Husband)

Thank you for such honesty, I wish I was there right now to give you a hug, but I'm at work already.

I love you and truly think you are a great mom and wife. Keep up the good work. God is not finished with any of us, especially me (Praise be to God)

Suzanne Eller said...

They grow up fast. I promise, and all of the investment you've put into them will pay off in their lives and in your's. You sound like such a caring and great mom. You are making a difference -- greater than you know.

Lex0307 said...

Thank you for sharing this verse - it is such a comfort to know that we don't have to do it all in our own strength. Like, Suzanne said you are making a difference - more than you know
- with this blog as it is obviously being read by many that you may never see or know.
- with your children; believe me when I tell you that just doing the best you can and leaning on God will go so much further than you ever dreamed (look at my daughters!!!)
- you are also a wonderful daughter, and a wonderful sister; your plate is fuller than you admit.
And we all love and respect you so much.
A proud mom