Monday, January 5, 2009

Obtainable Peace

This morning, as I started my quiet time, I had no agenda. I came to the Lord in a quiet state wanting Him to speak, I was blessed as His presence came and spoke to my spirit. It wasn't an easy message, but one that I desperately needed to hear. To be honest, I was a little shocked by what I received, and while it may not have the same impact for you, I thought I would share my little golden nugget with you.

The verse I meditated on this morning was Isaiah 32:17-18
"The fruit of the righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever. My people will live in peaceful dwelling places in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest."

As I meditated on this verse I just felt the Lord say to me "I long to give you peace and rest, but you have to let go of the things holding you back, Let go of the world, LET GO - and CLING to me. I will give you the peace, confidence and rest you need; all you have to do is let go - and just come."

My first thought was that the Lord was addressing a specific area of sin in my life, or maybe a physical material possession that I was trying to hold on to and use as a security. But as I sat there and tried to clear my head of all my perceptions and preconceived ideas, my mind began to wonder and I recalled an incident from over the holidays that had rubbed me the wrong way. (okay, I'll be honest, there were SEVERAL incidents that got me a "little riled up" that had come to mind) Once I realized that my mind was wondering, I thought, "oops, sorry Lord, I don't know where that came from"

It was then that I heard Him say "No, Daughter, that was from me."

What?

Anger
Resentment
Bitterness
Envy
Criticism
Judgment
Unforgiveness

I began to journal a list of feelings that were brought to my heart as I relived these moments. It made me sick to think that I was harboring these emotions in my heart without even trying too! Surprisingly, more strongly than the sick feeling, I felt VERY defensive. I knew now what the Lord was trying to say, and I didn't like it!

I didn't want to let go of these feelings. I didn't want to forgive, I didn't want to forget. As unhappy as these memories made me, I didn't want to give them up. Something inside of me was clinging to these feelings and I realized, these feelings were not going to go away until I CHOSE to let them go.

These emotions that I have been harboring, my anger and bitterness, my unforgiveness towards others have become a sort of armor and protection against the world around me. I have used my unrighteousness as a defense mechanism, a reason not to trust, a reason not to love as much, and to not open up. These were my armor, these were my source of protection.

How can I expect to live a life of peace while constantly preparing myself for battle?

I have to let it go.
I have to LET IT GO!

I am tired, I need rest, I want peace. I want to let go, I want someone else to take over. I want someone else to protect me and to hold my shield for a while. My armor has become heavy and more than I can bear.

There is hope.

This is His offer to us. He wants to give us peace, He wants to take over. But we must rid ourselves of the unrighteousness that fills our hearts. We must choose to lay our armor down before He can pick it up.

4 comments:

lori said...

Amber....what honesty! I think if we are all honest, at least ME, I struggle with the things that "fire me up" as well...and I HAVE TO LET GO! Boy this was timely and I've worked so much on it in 2008 with what may be miles to go...LOL! Isn't it amazing what He reveals to us when we just "sit down and shush..." :)
Happy New Year!!
peace,
lori

Lex0307 said...

Loved your blog and your honesty. Like Lori said - the things you mentioned are things we all struggle with and most likely will continue to struggle with. Your revelation is an answer to prayer; I saw you struggling with these issues and held you up before the Lord in this area. Praise God - for He is good and oh, so gentle with us.

Tami Jo said...

I don't think you were the only one that needed to hear that verse...thanks for sharing.
Love ya Tons!

Jaime said...

Okay... so first of all I'm already coveting the journal so I hope friends aren't excluded from being able to win!
2nd, that's a great right now word. From my perspective, it is very similar to a word I got this morning from Psalm 2 ~ we can either incur his "wrath" or we can find and receive refuge in Him. Sometimes we just need to get out of the way and let Him fight our battles for us!

My tip: read Walking with God and put into practice the tips and ideas he shares throughout. It is awesome to hear from God on a daily basis, and yes He does want to talk if we take the time to be quiet!