Monday, November 2, 2009

Resurrection Power

I recently started doing Beth Moore's "Believing God" study. I'm one video and 4 daily sessions in and I am.... amazed once again at how awesome our God is.

As you can tell by the title the study is about Believing God and faith. On the first day one of the primary verses we focused on was Ephesians 1:19-20 which says:
"and what is the immeasurable greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His great might that He worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand."
The first time I read and reflected on this verse it overwhelmed me to tears.

To illustrate the power of the truth in these verses I would like to share a little bit of my own (recent) testimony with you.
In the past 7 months or so, the Lord has been doing a major work in my life. I have had some of the lowest lows I have ever known and I have also had some of the most intimate loving moments with my saviour that I have ever known. The Lord is showing me so much at such a deep level that I have been unable and somewhat unwilling (at this time) to even share it with you all here. It has been a journey, a journey of unknowns (to me) but God knows what He is doing and He's allowing me to be a part of it.

During this entire process there have been two types of wounds the Lord has been adressing in my life - wounds of the most sensitive nature (wounds of loss, wounds of abuse, wounds of death) with these particular wounds the Lord has showed me that I had the freedom to feel. He is teaching me that pain is okay - that to weep before Him without holding back, to beat on His chest and cry on His shoulders without apology is okay. He showed me that these were areas that He was going to bring COMPLETE healing to.
Other areas in my life He was healing involved areas of bondage (to fear, to man, to myself, to my idols) and some wounded relationships in my past and present. In these areas He began to show me that the emotion and feelings that I was allowing myself to feel and dwell on was unhealthy and controlling. He showed me that these were areas that He was going to bring COMPLETE healing to.
I am no expert on healing, I have no experience beyond my own, and I only pray the Lord can somehow take this sinful life and these fallen words of mine and use them for His own glory. I am still in my journey. I don't know what the end will look like, but for me, right now, God has allowed me the freedom to feel pain in some areas that I felt guilty about feeling pain in before; and at the same time has begun to heal and remove the pain in other areas that I was allowing to overtake and control me.
Like any good story however, there was a twist. Somewhere in my journey the enemy began to distort these two valuable truths in my heart and he began to bring me back to the very place I was being freed from. Regarding my areas of bondage and wounded relationships I began to think "pain is just part of all healing.... pain is just something I have to live with... as a reminder of what the Lord has done." (I actually have a journal entry with almost these exact words) I began to allow the enemy to take the freedom God had given me in some areas and use it as a chain in others.

When I read Ephesians 1:19, and began to understand that God uses His power (the same power used to resurrect Christ from the dead) in my life.... I was floored!! I had some areas that I felt like were beyond saving, areas that I had accepted defeat in. I had literally called "time of death" on them and was allowing them to "rest in peace" in the painful ignorance of a hardened/dead part of my heart. If anyone could qualify as needing resurrection power, I knew it was me!!

The Lord is so faithful isn't He? So knowing how long it takes me to really "get" a lesson He is teaching me, this morning in my quiet time He reemphasized this again for me.

I came across a verse in Hebrews (13:20-221) that says:
"Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen."
When we believe and ask God to do the impossible in our lives for us He CAN through the same power that brought Christ from the grave and He WILL for those who believe and seek His will for their lives.

I can tell you, this journey has been one of the most difficult I have ever faced, but it has been worth it. The Lord is sanctifying me for His will and for the plans He has for me - plans far beyond what I can see or imagine. I choose to believe that He will complete His plans (Phil. 1:6), and that His plans are good (Jer. 29:11) regardless of what I am feeling. And I now know, that by believing His word and believing in Him - He is using His resurrecting power to bring it all to pass.... and this includes COMPLETE HEALING!!

1 comment:

Tami Jo said...

Amber...you are so beautiful (of course on the outside) on the inside. I just LOVE that God is healing you...you are amazing! I just love that God is so faithful to us.