Thursday, April 1, 2010

Random Thoughts from a Tired Mama

I felt the urge to write something today, but to be honest, my mind is not operating on it's fullest capacity, so I apologize if the following post is choppy or doesn't make much since... these are the thoughts of a tired mama!! 

Adjustment - that's the word of the month. Obviously being in a transition from being a mom of 2 to a mom of 3 I am learning much about myself and God in the area of change and adjusting.

I asked Tim yesterday, which was harder going from 1-to-2 or 2-to-3 children, and we both agreed; one doesn't seem harder than the other, and neither seemed too overwhelming. The hard part is just having a newborn again, regardless of when that happens and how many other children you have, newborns are tough - I just thank God He makes them so precious and easy to love!

Anyhow, back to the topic of adjustment, I have discovered that regardless of when it happens, and how well you plan for a change, adjustment is never easy, mostly because it's never really what you expected it would be. God has a pretty sophisticated system of keeping us dependent on Him, and that's the element of surprise!

I keep thinking I "know" what it's going to be like (regardless of what "it" is), and I plan... that's what I do, I am a planner, and I think it through, preparing myself for the best and worst of a situation. Somehow though it never goes according to plan, at least not mine.

To be honest, I'm a person that doesn't mind change, I rather enjoy it... when it's on my terms, or beneficial to me. It's when an adjustment is against my terms that I really struggle and (I'll be honest) completely fight it. I feel blessed that transitioning to a larger family isn't one of those adjustments, but even still, it has given me the opportunity to view other changes in my life through new eyes, with new perspective. There is just something about having a baby that changes the way you look at things. And while adjusting to having a larger family is one that I feel blessed to be able to do, it certainly wasn't what I expected it to be.

And somehow, all of this change and adjusting has brought me back to my thought life - the battlefield of the mind, and the thoughts that I have regarding any given moment of my day. There is much that goes on in my mind that is good and God-glorifying but there is also much that goes on in my mind that is sinful. God has been working for a while in getting my thought life under control and under His authority and I guess that's what this post is mostly about.

Many of my thoughts (both good and bad) I have placed above God, and they have become not only idols, but strongholds in my life. Even some of the well intended thoughts have become idols when I placed them over God. All of my plans, all of my desires, all of my emotions and fears... all of it.... must be taken before God and reevaluated. Is what I am thinking a casual thought or a captive thought (as Beth Moore would refer to them). Am I bringing this thought under the authority of God's Word and Holy Spirit?

The truth is my greatest strongholds started as a simple thought, no big deal, at first. But because I didn't take them captive then and there, it grew... and grew... and grew.

Life is unpredictable, plain and simple, everyday takes me by surprise. To deny this is to miss the beauty of God's sovereignty and providence. I am where I am supposed to be, on the path that He has for me, learning the lessons that are important for my journey. It's not about my ability to plan an easier route or simpler way, it's about doing it HIS WAY, in HIS TIME, on HIS TERMS.

I pray that as I go through the process of taking my thoughts captive, and giving my moments over to God and His plan, that I learn to cherish every opportunity He gives me, no matter how difficult or simple, to grow and follow Him.

2 Corinthians 10:5 "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" 


Ticia said...

Wonderful thoughts.

Michelle said...

Thanks for sharing those thoughts. I think many of us can relate. I remember I had a hard time adjusting form 1-2 just because of exhaustion! It was probably more of the newborn than from 1-2.

I was the same way. Plans were made in my mind but God gave me other plans. Plans of realizing He was in control and what I wanted were usually idols although well intended. His glory came when "my thoughts" and "my ideas" didn't work out.

Tana said...

It’s amazing how God can take thoughts from a tired mama, who thinks that they don’t make sense at all, and have them touch the lives of others that read those words. Sometimes, I guess, it takes a tired mama to let God work through them.

Virginia Lee said...

Wow, tired mama. You sure touched me with this post. I struggle with so much of what you wrote about. Thank you for the reminder that, "It's not about my ability to plan an easier route or simpler way, it's about doing it HIS WAY, in HIS TIME, on HIS TERMS." Amen, Amen, Amen!!!