Tuesday, February 26, 2013

I Traded "Me Time" for "Us Time" and It Was Worth It!

Yesterday, okay this entire week, has stretched me in a lot of ways.

For whatever reason Titus has decided, not only is he not going to sleep at night but that he's going to spend 1-2 hours a night screaming for, what appears to his parents to be, no apparent reason. It's crazy, he is his normal smiley self all day long, but the sun goes down…. 

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If you know me at all, you know I need two things consistently, and without them, you wish you didn't know me. It's really not too much (I don't think) just the basic necessities. 

Food. And Sleep. 

I've never done well without these two things. If I'm hungry, watch out, and if I haven't slept, you might as well just get out the way! My husband and my kids know this. It's one of the reasons why we live in such routine (compared to some) at our house. Because of me. Because I just don't do well without these things. 

So all of this to say, I've been without a good nights sleep for over a week now, I hope someone out there can imagine what this might mean - NIGHTMARE, pure nightmare! Though I must say, the Lord is gracious and His mercies truly are new every morning. As bad as I feel and as close to the breaking point I have been claiming I'm at all week, He has been faithful to provide me enough grace to get through each and every day. Not more. Not less. Just enough. 

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Yesterday, was some what of a hectic day. Not a bad day, just a little crazy, little things consistently throughout the day. By about 4 o'clock all I wanted to do was to curl up and read my book. I wanted a little "me time". 

I deserve that, right? 

"Deserve"…. hmm I don't like the sound of that coming from my thoughts. 

I stopped. 

I looked around. 

Audrey had just waken up from her nap, Alexa and Treyton were down stairs watching 'Super Why', I was bouncing TItus. 

Sigh. 

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My ultimate desire is for my life to be a drink offering poured out every day for my Lord, I want to serve my husband and my children constantly. I want to develop and nurture a relationship with my kids that will last our entire lives, I don't want to miss this time or waste it on "me time" when I should be stewarding "us" time. 

I called downstairs for the two older kids. 

"Hey, you guys want to play a game?" 

Of course, they did! 

We played a game together. 

And it was fun. 

A lot of laughing. 

A lot of cheering. 

A few pouts. 

A few discipline moments. (Life isn't perfect, right?) 

And last night, as we were getting everyone dressed and ready for bed my oldest came to me and said "Mom, thanks for playing a game with us today, I really liked that." 

How many more of these moments will I get? How long will my son want to play board games over watching TV or going out with his friends, or even playing a video game? How long will his dad and I be the people he wants to be with the most? Only the Lord knows. 

I pray I take advantage of every moment I get. I pray that I push through my selfishness to be selfless, if even for a little while, as I'm called to steward these little lives loaned to me. 

Thank you Lord for that moment of clarity, it was better than any book I could have read. 

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* Disclosure: I am not against "me time" there are times that, especially stay at home mom's, but all moms really, need and should get some "me time". We must be filled up to be able to pour back out. However, this was not one o those times, and I knew it. 

* Side note: for those of you that care TItus slept GREAT last night. He woke up at 1am and ate, 2am he just needed his pacifier and at 5:30 only his pacifier, 6:30am up for the day. My man is amazing, I didn't hardly wake up at the 2 or 5:30 times, because he handled them. 

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